Bike. Barista. Bullshit.

by Terrible

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    I made this for my friends. So SHARE this if you like it, and like the Facebook page so I can give you MORE. - Love, Max

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One continuous track.

3 Months
166 Sample Sources
343 Recording Tracks
At 130 beats per minute
In 50 Minutes.

Terrible worked as bike messenger for the summer. It drank a lot of coffee. It talked to a lot of baristas. It tried to weed out the bullshit from what it had learned in college. But mostly it just made this album for its friends to dance to.


released September 30, 2014

Music - Max Schaffer
Special thanks to Justin Dower and Rebecca Shapass for assuring me that this didn't suck, and the beautifully androgynous barista I kept seeing. I apologize for staring.
And of course to all the incredible artists that make up this album.

Coffee cup vector by Dan Hannigan

Samples (in order of appearance):

Cedric Bixler-Zavala at Lollapalooza 2012
Bill O’Reilly on Inside Edition
How Can You Swallow So Much Sleep - Bombay Bicycle Club
So Long, See You Tomorrow - Bombay Bicycle Club
Good Vibrations - Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch
Paper Planes - M.I.A
Get Right - Jennifer Lopez
Crazy Train - Ozzy Osbourne
Paranoid - Black Sabbath
Made You Look - Nas
Crazy in Love - Beyonce
Poison - Bel Biv DeVoe
Always Like This - Bombay Bicycle Club
The Obvious Child - Paul Simon
Gobbledigook - Sigur Ros
Kids! from BauerTheBidoof’s Youtube Channel
Open My Eyes - Nazz
It Takes Two - Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock
Lust for Life - Iggy Pop
Suspect Device - Stiff Little Fingers
19 December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night) - Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons
Problem - Ariana Grande
I Feel Good - James Brown
Bring the Noise - Public Enemy
Flava In Ya Ear - Craig Mack
Hysteria - Muse
Gangnam Style - PSY
Kerosene - Big Black
After the Curtain - Beirut
Luna - Bombay Bicycle Club
Let’s Dance - David Bowie
D.A.N.C.E. - Justice
D.A.N.C.E. - Vitamin String Quartet
I Can Talk - Two Door Cinema Club
Jeep’s Blues (Live) - Duke Ellington
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - The Beatles
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - Counting Crows
Harlem - New Politics
This Modern Love - Bloc Party
Yeah Yeah Yeah - New Politics
Wasted Days - Cloud Nothings
Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO
Helter Skelter - The Beatles
Bangarang - Skrillex
Came out of a Lady - Rubblebucket
Sabotage - Beastie Boys
La Vie En Rose - Louis Armstrong
You Know I’m No Good - Amy Winehouse
Cannonball - The Breeders
Start Wearing Purple - Gogol Bordello
Voodoo Child (Slight Return) - The Jimi Hendrix Experience
LDN - Lily Allen
Spice Up your Life - The Spice Girls
Out of My World - milk music
Be Faithful - Fatman Scoop
Xxplosive - Dr. Dre
Getting Jiggy With It - Will Smith
Say it Ain’t So - Weezer
Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke
The Mother We Share - CHVRCHES
Sweet Emotion - Aerosmith
Wasn’t Me - Shaggy
Suspicious Minds - Elvis Presley
All Star - Smash Mouth
Undone (The Sweater Song) - Weezer
Jump Around - House of Pain
Buggin’ Out - A Tribe Called Quest
Run Away - Eurovision Moldova
If it Ain’t Ruff - N.W.A.
Cooking up Something Good - Mac Demarco
Burndt Jamb - Weezer
Blue Orchid - The White Stripes
What If - Bombay Bicycle Club
Starships - Nicki Minaj
Fix Up, Look Sharp - Dizzee Rascal
Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
Come and Get Your Love - Redbone
Show ‘Em What You Got - Public Enemy
Show Me What You Got - Jay-Z
Harder than You Think - Public Enemy
The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song - The Flaming Lips
The W.A.N.D. - The Flaming Lips
Ante Up - M.O.P.
Cherry Bomb - The Runaways
Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede
Black Skinhead - Kanye West
Wouldn’t it Be Nice - The Beach Boys
Rock and Roll (Part 2) - Gary Glitter
The Mr. Softee Ice Cream Jingle
Just a Friend - Biz Markie
Holocene - Bon Iver
Creature Fear - Bon Iver
Towers - Bon Iver
Apache - Sugarhill Gang
Anything Could Happen - Ellie Goulding
Cinema - Skrillex
Cinema Drum Cover - Luke Holland
Thrift Shop - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Peg - Steely Dan
Roses - Outkast
Heads Will Roll - The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Lights - Ellie Goulding
By the Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Snow (Hey Oh) - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Train in Vain - The Clash
The Next Episode - Dr. Dre
Around the World - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac
Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
Yertle the Turtle - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Song 2 - Blur
More Than a Feeling - Boston
I Don’t Need a Reason - Dizzee Rascal
Sweet Disposition - The Temper Trap
Someday - The Strokes
Pop, Lock & Drop It - Huey
Diane Young - Vampire Weekend
Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend
Bound 2 - Kanye West
Slow Motion - Juvenile
21st Century Schizoid Man - King Krimson
Power - Kanye West
Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears
Congratulations - MGMT
Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
Goodbye Horses - Garvey
You Make My Dreams - Hall and Oates
Flash Delirium - MGMT
Something Good - Alt-J
Oblivion - Grimes
Doo Wop (That Thing) - Lauryn Hill
Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boy
Daylight - Matt & Kim
Clash - Caravan Palace
We No Speak Americano - Yolanda Be Cool and DCUP
Future Starts Slow - The Kills
Takyon (Death Yon) - Death Grips
Go Outside - Cults
Hang Uou From the Heavens - The Dead Weather
Goin’ Up the Country - Canned Heat
Ride the Lightning - Lightning Bolt
B.O.B. - Outkast
Salamander - Lightning Bolt
R U Mine - Arctic Monkeys
Communication Breakdown - Led Zeppelin
Calabria 2008 - Enur
Check It Out - Beastie Boys
Lowrider - War
Hey Mama - Black Eyed Peas
Barbra Streisand - Ducksauce
Blue Monday - New Order
(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher & Higher - Jackie Wilson
Ain’t No Other Man - Christina Aguilera
I Wish - Skee-Lo
Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear
Good Ol’ Fashion Nightmare - Matt & Kim
Sleepyhead - Passion Pit
Reflektor - Arcade Fire
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell
Scenario - A Tribe Called Quest
Dani California - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Can’t Hold Us - Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
After Light - Rustie
How it Ends - Devotchka
“Frankly Dear I Don’t Give a Damn” Clark Gable in Gone with the Wind



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Terrible Cambridge, Massachusetts

Terrible started for shits and giggles with a J-Lo sample. It's happy music. Grew out of hand during summer break from Ivy culture. It's an experiment in turning all songs into party songs. It's a departure from emotional guitar music and pretension and hands-in-pockets. It's a celebration of fun and derivative sounds and liking music because it sounds good even if it doesn't have a fucking point. ... more

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